There are three stands to the nurtured heart approach. Stand 1: Refuse to Energize Negativity, Stand 2: Relentlessly Energize the Positive, and Stand 3: Clearly but Un-energetically Enforce Limits. Previous blogs have highlighted stands 1 and 2. Let's dig into and really look at what Stand 3 means in this post:
The premise of stand 3 is to set clear limits and provide clear, unenergized consequences. It is also about providing a true consequence, without looking the other way. And, when a rule is broken, allow the child to reset and be welcomed back with forgiveness. This reset needs to be brief with no lectures, warnings, explanations of why. This creates the result we want in the moment which is to get the child to pause while breaking a rule so that he/she can get back to greatness. I think that perhaps the most important words in this are "clear" and "unenergized". When a rule is broken or a child is disrespectful, it can be difficult not to give energy with the consequence. Simply talking too much about the behavior or the consequence is giving too much energy. If the rules have been made clear, and the consequence for breaking a rule are consistent, the child already knows and doesn't need a long lecture or discussion. "Here are the rules, and here's what happens when you break a rule." 
Just as important as being clear and not giving energy to the reset is welcoming the child back with forgiveness. We need to acknowledge that the child has come back to greatness and is ready to move forward. All students need to be held to high expectations of behavior, and all students are held accountable to consistent rules and expectations. This needs to be and can be done in a nurturing way if we are going to help our students grow in appropriate choices and grow in their greatness. When the child resets, make sure to welcome him/her back and recognize them in the moment. "Welcome back", and then 30-60 seconds later, find a moment to honor that student for making a change in the behavior. "Thank you for working quietly" "Thank you for raising your hand" "I love the way you are focusing on the assignment" "You are really using your time wisely"........Are you practicing the following:
1. I will have intentional clarity in my rules and expectations.
2. I will always provide a true consequence, without looking the other way.
3. When a rule is broken, I will allow the child to reset and be welcomed back with forgiveness.
Links Worth Reading:
Independent Reading - A look in a Kindergarten Classroom - shared by +Matt Gomez
When Teachers Bully Teachers - @pernilleripp
10 Things Students want all Educators to Know - +Justin Tarte
3 Keys To Teaching Kids to Write
Favorite Web Tools of 2014
Project Based Learning - Great Article with Interest Fair around the corner
10 Picture Books My Students Say you Need - @pernilleripp
Videos Worth Watching:
This video shows a father being very clear on the rules and consequences with his son regarding video games.
I LOVE this commercial. Just shows that no matter our differences, we can all work together with love!
This video was shared with students at assembly on Wednesday as we discussed Empathy!
Betty White's 93rd Birthday Flash Mob: Everyone deserves to be celebrated!!
