Nurtured Heart Stand #2: Relentlessly Energize the Positive ("Absolutely YES!")

As important as it is to refuse to accidentally energize negativity, it is just as important to super-energize the positive and experiences of success.  In a typical classroom, when students are behaving themselves and following the rules, they get little or no response or attention from the teacher; but when they break a rule or cross the line, suddenly they get intense, highly present interest, connection and relationship with the teacher.  This is known as upside down energy.  We don't want to ignore or pretend problems don't exist, but we also don't want to pour gas on the fire of what the child already perceives; that problems are the most efficient route to juicy connectivity and relationship with the teacher.  Instead, we want to focus on what is going right: on recognizing the child's successes, good choices, following of rules, and other positive behaviors.  We want to inspire our kids to express their greatness by removing all energy from responses to their negative choices (other than to providing an unenergized consequence when a rule is broken); and by energizing the many positive choices students make in the moments those choices are being made. 

Focus on the positive and point out those moments of success and greatness.  Name the behavior or quality of greatness that you notice in the students.  Students must realize that our attention and energy is given to the positive choices.  We can reset and not give a great deal of energy to the negative, but this isn't enough.  We must also energize the positives.  I have noticed so many times if I go into a room and begin pointing out some of the great choices the students are making, others begin to follow along.  I have watched and heard so many of you do the same.  

This will take practice and reminders to each other.  I have become more aware of how much energy is given when a student makes a poor choice.  This week I stepped out of a classroom to see a student hanging from his locker door.  I proceeded to give a great deal of energy about how this could break the locker, how much lockers cost, blah, blah, blah.  The student simply looked at me when I was finished and stated, "I'm sorry, Ms. Haney."  I looked back at the teacher in her classroom and said, "Why didn't I just ask him to reset?"  I continue to work on both not giving energy to the negative and focusing on pointing out the positive choices and qualities of greatness I see surrounding me every day.  

It is my goal this week to "super-energize" experiences of success and students displaying qualities of greatness.  Will you join me?

Articles Worth Reading:

The Perils and Promises of Praise - I have given you this article before.  It talks about the types of praise we give and how some praise can actually be detrimental.  "Research shows us how to praise students in ways that yield motivation and resilience."  "You are so smart." vs. "You worked so hard and really put in a lot of effort to do well."  One is a fixed mindset and the other growth mindset.  One is "junk food" praise!  

Why Does Sitting Still Equal Learning - shared by +Brad Wilson 

Active Kids Perform better in school  - Shared by +Brad Wilson 

Gonoodle - (Get the wiggles out with free brain breaks for your classroom) shared by +Brad Wilson

Cute Idea for Parent Teacher Conference Night.

Videos Worth Watching:

"Kiss your Brains for that" - This teacher energizes positive behaviors and character (big or small) in the moment of success.

I showed this to our 4th and 5th graders during assembly.  I told them that it wasn't so that they would bring in socks, but to encourage them to ask these three questions:  

1.  What are you not okay with?

2.  What do you have?

3.  What can we do about it?

3 Questions That Could Change The World - Kid President

We also watched this video and talked about kindness and the fact that we may not know the impact of our kindness and that we don't do something kind to get something in return, but there are times, it comes back around.  Ask your 4th and 5th graders about "What comes around goes around."

Betty White's advice on living a positive life - "Look around....there is always something going right."

Stand #1: Refuse to Energize Negativity ("Absolutely NO!")

How often have you felt that a handful of students in your classroom are taking all the energy and basically running the show in a way keeps you from teaching and keeps everyone in the room from learning?  Have you ever had the day end and felt that you spent the day dealing with discipline instead of teaching?  How many times have you said, "I couldn't get through half of the lesson I had planned" due to managing students making poor choices?  I don't have to ask this question, because I have had this conversation with so many of you, but what are we not getting to and not

accomplishing and not doing for those kids in our school who always do the right thing, follow directions and never disrupt learning?  Are we the best school for all kids......including those kids who need help making better choices and for those who come to school every day ready to learn?  I believe that we are ready to stop letting our difficult students "run the show".  I know that what we really want is to give our energy to the successes, the positive choices, the ones who.....I almost typed the ones who "deserve it".  Don't they all deserve it?  We just have to reprogram how they get our attention and our energy.  Reprogram ourselves and the students.  Remember, we are their "favorite toy".  We don't want to be the kind of toy that "reactively moves into gear in an energized way when things go wrong."  This first stand of Nurtured Heart, Refusing to Energize Negativity, will help us with this change.

The reprogramming starts with us.  We have to reprogram our game board.  We want our most interesting response, most energetic response and juiciest connection with the students to come in response to positive choices not negative actions or choices.  This is easier said than done as we have all experienced in our first month implementing Nurtured Heart.  In that moment, it is very difficult not to give a lot of energy to the negative.  We need to reprogram....delete that response.  "Refuse the gift of your aliveness in exchange for negativity."

This doesn't just mean not giving energy to the negative, but it also means not remaining silent when things are going well.  We can't pour on the relationship and connect with students only in those times when things go wrong.  If this is happening, our kids feel where they will get energy.  We can't give our energy to negativity.  This will not be an easy change.  Unfortunately, our kids are programmed for years that they get a connection and a great deal of energy from their most favorite adults when they make poor choices.  They will try to "hook you in with inappropriate behaviors."  Remind yourself:  I am taking a stand.  I'm not going there anymore.  Absolutely NO!

This is only Stand 1.  The next stand we will see that there are so many things that are going right even in classrooms full of discipline issues and difficult students.  We have to help our students see the greatness and realize that in their greatness they will get our energy.  I love the quote from the book, "Disengage the gift that is you.  Save your soul for the good stuff - and, as you'll see, there's an incredible abundance of good stuff to be found..."

"If you do not provide positive relationship with students, they will find a way to access relationship from you by any means necessary, even if it's negative."

Have you ever considered that pushing limits and getting that negative energy is like an addiction.  Refuse to energize the negativity, and we help students break the addiction of pushing limits.   Instead we are going to show our students that we love greatness and help them discover that they too will enjoy showing their greatness.  Howard Glasser says that giving our energy and relationship when things are going wrong is like telling a child, "oops, broke a rule....here's 100 bucks!"  When we give our energy to what we don't want we are handing out $100 bills for negative or unwanted behavior.  Let's start holding onto those $100 bills and handing them out for what we do want.

Finally, refusing to energize the negativity is not just in the classroom, just like the 7 Habits are not something we only teach in the classroom.  Refusing to energize the negativity includes our conversations with colleagues, talk in the lounge.  If necessary, remind each other to shift our conversations to identifying and celebrating greatness....what is going right at Parma Elementary School.  Become Warrior Like in your passion for celebrating greatness.  #ParmaSTRONG, #ParmaPROUD....there is no place for negativity in a culture that celebrates greatness!  Let's give our energy to that greatness and help every child "who deserves it" discover how positive that greatness can be!  And yes, they ALL deserver it!















Great Bulletin Board!

Shared by @saratruebridge


Articles Worth Reading:

The Perils and Promises of Praise

An article by Carol Dweck regarding mindset and praise:
Research shows us how to praise students in ways that yield motivation and resilience.

What Makes a Parent Love a Teacher

The thing you could do in a bare cinderblock room with no electricity and no more technology than a stick for writing in the dirt floor. The one thing a teacher can do that makes a bigger difference than all those other things combined:

Know my child.

That’s it. This knowledge can manifest itself in so many ways: You can know their academic skills, their allergies, their family, their moods, their quirks, any and all of these things. Just know my child, and a lot of other stuff just falls into place.

Why Teach?

Teachers of all levels are called upon to get to know each student in order to individualize instruction in ways that address the personal needs, abilities, and interests of every boy and girl. The abilities of the students vary widely.

10 Pieces of Advice for New Teachers - +Justin Tarte 

 Strong student relationships will be your best friend. Get to know your students and get to know what makes them tick. Learn about their interests and hobbies and make sure they know you care about them. When students know you care about them, they will trust you. The strong relationships you create in the first few weeks of the school year will set the tone for the entire year.

Why I'll Never Tell My Son He's Smart- Shared by +Kenneth Williams 

I am more convinced than ever that mindsets toward learning could matter more than anything else we teach.


Videos Worth Watching:

Nurtured Heart Approach at Rocky River Elementary School

Dylan Wiliam - Feedback on Learning: "Good Feedback causes thinking."

The Looper App.....and just a cool performance!

Love this kid.....Kindergarten is not a big hit with him!