Nurtured Heart

“There is NOTHING you can say or do that will dissuade me from believing in your ability to be successful.” 

Friday's staff meeting was exciting to me.  I heard from Anne what I have always known.  We have a special, unique thing at Parma Elementary School, and it starts with each of you and the relationships we build.   I think we can take this for granted at times because we just don't know any different, but then I talk to colleagues from all over who have so many issues with the adults in the building.  Good grief....that just seems crazy to me.  We are here for the kids, and I am so thankful you allow that to be our focus....not adult issues!  When I first approached Anne to talk to her about Nurtured Heart, her first response was, "Sue, Parma is such a nurtured heart school.  I think you all just do that naturally."  I think she is right, but I also know we can do better if we make it a focus and a collaborative effort where we are all using the same approach with our students.  I appreciate your openness and willingness to listen and perhaps give it a try for the remainder of the school year.  I heard some success stories from Friday from some of you who tried the reset after our staff meeting.

After I met with Anne last week, I came back to school and realized that I had gotten in the habit of using a lot of energy on negative behavior.  I was naming the negative behavior.   I was walking past the positive things happening without pointing them out, but when I saw something going wrong, I became animated and suddenly put a lot of energy into that.  What if we all put energy into the great things that are happening?  What if those students who usually don't get a lot of our energy because they are always doing what is right suddenly got so much positive attention from us?  What if students who tend to be defiant or disobedient suddenly got little or no energy for the poor behavior, but when he or she did something great or right, we celebrated and made that a big deal?  My purpose in looking at this has multiple reasons.  One, I feel we need to be aware of where and how we use our energy.  As Anne stated, we have a limited amount of energy to use in the day.  If we use it all toward negative behavior, that is the culture and climate we continue to have.  My other reason is that I see many of us leaving school dragging, defeated, even feeling negative on many days.  Maybe if we alter our approach during the school day to focusing on the positive, our stress level and energy level at the end of the day may actually improve.  Also, I believe that students need to hear a common language and have a common approach from year to year in regard to curriculum and behavior.  Both the Leader in Me and Nurtured Heart offer that.  Many of our students need Behavior Modification.  They have gotten far too much energy and attention for negative behavior from home and school, and we need to reroute that behavior.  As Anne stated, they are just on the track heading in the wrong direction.  Let's reroute that energy and behavior.

The premise of Nurtured Heart is that we all possess qualities of greatness, and that the building and naming of these qualities are critical to our ability to demonstrate resilience, to handle mistakes, to recover our innate greatness.  It is not our flaws which make us powerful - nor the naming of them.  But rather it is our strengths, our qualities of greatness, which pull us out of mistakes, back to that best version.  Every day, even on the days we make mistakes, we do a lot of things right.

So, let's give it a try.  The Nurtured Heart Approach....a system of relationship where all energy and attention is directed to what is going right, and little or no energy is given toward negative behaviors or choices.  Rules are clear.  Consequences are swift, emotionless and consistent.  Welcome students back from a reset....spirits are renewed quickly back to the best version of each person.  Always fight to find the positive in any moment, and put your energy into it.  Refuse to put any energy into anything negative, and always deliver a consequence when things go wrong....but don't give it a lot of energy.

I plan to start small.  I have been practicing just really focusing on pointing out the positive, the greatness I see all around me.  You can almost see the students "puff up" with pride.  Name the behavior, not just "good job".  Building kids up.  Helping bring out their greatness....truly Honoring their Greatness like our front wall says.  Nurturing their hearts.  Wow!  What a great job we have!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine…It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. We are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

- Marianne Williamson

Nurtured Heart Links and Articles:

Honoring Greatness...Beginning with Yourself

Spring Fever and the Nurtured Heart Approach

Recognizing qualities of Greatness: Substitutions for good job and thank you


Videos worth your time:

Nurtured Heart Rocky River Elementary School

Nurtured Heart Approach

This week at a Glance:

Monday, April 29th:  2:00 Elementary Principal Meeting at Admin.
Tuesday, April 30th:  3:45 Staff Lighthouse meeting
Wednesday, May 1st:  3rd - 5th Assembly
Thursday, May 2nd:  5:30 Top Teacher Award Ceremony at Ella Sharp Museum
Thursday, May 2nd:  7:00 Spring Music Program @ WCAC grades 1, 3 and 5
Friday, May 3rd:  Ganton Residence Visit at 11:00
Friday, May 3rd:  1:00 School Improvement Meeting

Have a great week!